


Locking your heart away

by thisisamadhouse



Series: Miscellaneous Missing Year [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Missing Year (Once Upon a Time), RegalBeliever feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 11:30:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13589145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisisamadhouse/pseuds/thisisamadhouse
Summary: Prompt: Missing year OQ , Regina brings something back that belonged to Henry, she has it on her at all times, or nearby. When it's misplaced she panics and breaks.





	Locking your heart away

It kept her grounded, it reminded her why she had to sit through endless, useless councils, unworthy of her time and attention. She wore it either around a long chain so it was pressed right against her heart, or she held it in her fist, fiddling with it when one of the dwarves would throw a harsh remark her way, forcing herself not to react. She was doing all of this for  _him_ , murdering insulting peasants couldn’t be part of her routine anymore.

A lock of Henry’s baby hair, a reminder of the first time she had it cut, secreted in a pendant, over a picture of the day Regina had first brought him home. For years she had kept it in a box full of trinkets from her son’s childhood, why carry it around when she had the real thing in the flesh, smiles lighting up his face each time he saw her, delighted squeals of “Mom” filling her ears?

It felt like a lifetime ago, and she already had several under her belt. She had summoned the locket in a somewhat unconscious manner, as she had watched the yellow bug drawing away, taking her son away from her forever. She had wished for something to keep, something that wouldn’t be destroyed along with the rest of Storybrooke, and she had felt the weight of the necklace in her pocket, giving her the last bit of strength necessary to undo her own curse and counter Pan’s.

She had clung to it ever since, as she would a lifeline, and in a way it was. She opened the locket every morning and every night to gaze at the picture and gently stroke the soft hair. Her ritual, without fail, every day. She was doing this for him, for her baby boy, protecting the people he loved most, even if he did not remember them, and that was the only thought that made most days bearable, the only thing that pushed her to rise from her bed and face the world.

* * *

She was playing with the Thief’s son when it happened.

Roland had made it a habit to grab her hand after breakfast, and at first she had had to control her instinct to withdraw it sharply, the resemblance between the little outlaw and another boy who once would come to her the same way, begging her to play, too keen for her to stand. She couldn’t hurt Roland’s feelings though, and she would let him drag her away towards his newest adventure, with his father looming in the vicinity like some sort of guardian Angel.

Regina knew the archer was wary after her sleeping curse stunt for some reason, and he had an annoying way of showing up in the most unexpected places, with his infuriating dimpled smile, inquiring about her well being. She wasn’t used to people caring so much about what happened to her, years spent alone or with only her son by her side, either ignored or outright hated by the rest of the world, made her squint suspiciously at simple questions like “How are you?”.

Yet, neither of the Locksley boys appeared to have noticed or had simply decided to disregard it, which she thought was more likely; Robin Hood was too observant for his own good, especially where it concerned the Queen.

It was one of those days, nothing out of the ordinary at first glance, just a chilly morning at the end of the autumn, with the sun playing hide-and-seek and Regina helping Roland riding the smallest poney she could find for him.

There was no warning, not even the sharp-eyed archer watching over them noticed the three rapidly approaching flying beasts. They crossed the shield surrounding the castle as if it wasn’t even there, and Regina barely had time to seize Roland before he was unseated by the poney in a fit of panic.

Robin cried their names out while he fired several arrows in quick succession, and Roland clung to her as she curved over him, grasping at her hair, her coat, anything, shrieking in fear. She felt some strands of hair tearing away as she tried to turn to see what was going on, Roland’s grip on them too tight.

She rolled them to the floor when she felt the powerful flap of wings moving the air way too close, her shoulder hitting the ground hard, making her groan in pain over Roland’s head as she held it against her chest. She was so busy trying to calm the boy down enough so she could focus and summon her magic that she never noticed when the chain around her neck broke and fell beneath them.

An arrow flew over their heads and embedded itself in one of the beast’s throat just as it was towering over them, and Regina moved to her side, bitting her bottom lip till she drew blood at the pressure it put on her injured shoulder. The monkey collapsed right where they were lying a moment ago and Roland’s screams started anew.

Robin took him from her arms, shushing him expertly, and helped her up, steering them away from the morbid sight.

“That’s twice you have protected my son from those monsters, Milady,” Robin stated with admiration and a watery smile pulling at his lips as he hugged his son close.

“And twice you have saved me from them, Thief. I might start to think you can be of some use around here,” Regina replied, but her tone wasn’t as biting as usual and she was gazing at Roland with soft eyes.

“I will need to work harder if you’re still unsure about my usefulness,” Robin said, not taking his eyes off her face.

“You do that,” she told him, walking by them swiftly, ruffling Roland’s hair softly as she did. “I need to reinforce the shield, I think the green thorn in our side sent those to test our defences. I might have underestimated her abilities,” the Queen admitted begrudgingly. “It will not happen again.”

* * *

“No, no, no, no, it has to be here, it has to be here somewhere,” Regina kept muttering as she tore her rooms apart, sending the content of heavy boxes and drawers to the floor, shredding hangings, carpets, any piece of fabric that could be concealing her most prized possession.

“IT HAS TO BE HERE!” She exploded, falling on her knees, holding in each hand a piece of an old dress that had the misfortune of lying there, heaving as if she had just run ten miles.

“Milady?” Someone, and she knew exactly which someone since there was only one who dared to use that title, called from the doorway.

“Go away, Thief, I don’t have time for you,” Regina rebuffed him, throwing the pieces away and getting up to continue her frantic search. She went through her night table for the tenth time and sent it flying when it failed to deliver.

“Milady,” Robin tried again but she was too far gone, her patience wearing thin.

“I swear if I have to tell you to go away again, I will make you, and believe me I won’t use the door,” she spat ferociously, throwing a small statue towards him, and he ducked to avoid it, wincing when it crashed against a wall in the corridor.

“If you would just stop for a minute and listen, I think I have found something of yours,” Robin exclaimed and she froze. He opened his hand and let the pendant dangle from his fingers.

Regina gasped and strode quickly to snatch it from him. She turned away and pressed it against her heart, breathing deeply, a few tears rolling down her cheeks.

“You still haven’t learned to say thank you, have you?” the outlaw remarked, her distress unnoticed until she swirled round, and his eyes softened as he took her in. He glanced at the mess she had made, at her knuckles turning white as she clutched the locket as if daring him to take it from her, at the film of tears making her eyes shine. “I apologize, I did not mean to sound so callous, this is obviously an object of great value to you. I found it under the monkey I killed earlier and I thought that I shall return it,” he tried but she remained mute, staring at him and he squirmed uncomfortably. “I should go,” he announced, spinning on his heels before stopping dead in his tracks when she finally spoke.

“It’s the only thing of my son that I could bring. It’s all that remains. Eleven years reduced to this,” she said, the last part more to herself than directed at him.

He felt a painful pang as he imagined a similar situation with Roland. He had no idea how she was able to go on when the mere thought was for him intolerable. It was her reality, every day.

Before he even realised what he was doing, he had covered the distance separating and was embracing her against him.

Regina was paralysed for several long moments, unable to process what was happening. It soon became clear to her that she could either give in to his warm enfold or use her magic to force him to release her because he didn’t seem to be going anywhere.

She sighed and let her forehead rest on his shoulder, only allowing a few tears to fall as she closed her eyes, the image of Henry imprinted on her eyelids, and for the first time since she once more set foot in this godforsaken land, the memory of her son didn’t feel as painful as usual.


End file.
